Loosing my mind just to find a place in your mind.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

It's fer u coz, everything's written fer u. facing up to reality.

afterall that lys btwin the two of us... is nothing. ... maib fate n destiny just brought me here n ... we r suposed nt to b together. bragging over the past, i thought everything was over & i wouldn't think of it again but, just ... on the 16th smth ragged up what i have gone through with someone i love & spent my life with. it jsut happened too fast for me to accept the fact that i hav to snap back to reality to see the fairy tell is all bout him n her... not me... although sometimes, we used to tell ourselves that its no use cryin over spilt milk, but cn u really do it when u are at the one losin smth so precious yet u cant save it because fate wasn't there? wont it b a feeling of cheat when he said he wasn't ready but the next minute he has someone else bside him n hw loving they are? oh no... it hurts terribly. tearing that flesh off my bones. brooding over every mistake done was all i could do. cryin n decieving myself tellin myself he din't lie he din't lie just bcoz the love for him is still there. was it because of my one little mistake that i never took the time to spend with him or was it because i just simply took it for granted? what? i have always tried to do wadever i cn to save it. but i can't. i really don't know what to do. friends were all around me telling me to stop thinking bout it n get moving wif life... but every mmorie just haunt me down. how stupid was i huh? i just simply cant. the fairy tale of me n him goes dwn to the end and it's a new story nw... him n her. h0ow lovin how sweet? because i just sat dwn there listenin to the story go by n just cry. but will he ever notice all that have done fer him? no ... no guy does. they just get away wif everything they cn. i feel cheated n at the same time ... i feel deceieved that i have done to myself. but what else can b done? nothin ... coz... the fact is there. its one way or another. to accept the fact n hurt myself. or to live my life n never think bout it again. who cn do it? what ever it is... life goes on i know. those promises n lies... i feel lyk .... my life revolves round him again... suddenly. i told myself i won't let it happen...again... it happened. i failed to promise myself. wad else cn i promise ? i feel so down seeing reality. so plain ... no colours ... no rainbows... jsut black n white. i don;t want it to happen again ... i wana b happy. i want...i just wish fer him to read tis n let him notice me. life still goes on.

-nics-
180706. letting mi down. turning bk to the old u i don't wana c.

YAs reality is crashing to the floor.

Paint a portrait of you & I-;

~~You get older & blame becomes to shame.~~
Would you still love me if i was spastic, crazy, mad or...whatever?

I love starbucks with bestfriends. i love my family, bestfriends, friends & i love my boyfriend.

I'd love to experience everything in life. Try whatever seems crazily fun or stupid.

I don't live life to the fullest sometimes but to me, life seems like a movie. Everything happens so fast, ends so fast but at the same time, there're so many people in life that you treasure & never want to leave. i've never been perfect in my life. never once. i've never done anything exceptionally good however, i've got the perfect friends in life. i've got a beautiful boyfriend & i thank God for everything i've came pass.

I can be very crude, retarded & stupid at times.

I'm a mean bitch, whore, cunt whatever you want to call me if you make my blood boil. I wouldn't acknowledge you on the streets if you did something to insult my friends & i. Infact, i'll probably hate you for life for what you did. Yes, very much HATE.

Chains;

Tender Words-;