Loosing my mind just to find a place in your mind.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

all that i've understood was that... u made me live through a lie.

i thought that evrything was fine ... really... i never bared to lie to you but i cldn't bring myself to believe that u did. so what if u're scared to see me break just coz im so fragile... it's a sooner or later thing u have to accept right?

yes! im never emotionally strong... nomatter how hard u try, u cant change the fact that i am me... just me... im so fragile & soft ... even a begger on the street can make me go all the way dwn , feeling sorry for he/she.

i dnt knw why u have to choose ytd. coz u cnt live through that lie already? but u made me do it with u . if it isn't fair for u to ever do this to urself... den what bout me? was it even fair to live through that lie with u when i thought : oh baby... u're telling the truth.? & i gave all my best . i never doubted on ur words & im sure u knw coz i have told u once .

i thoguht u'd understand but no ... could u just put urself into my dam freaking broken pair of shoes before u do anything? yes... i knw u have tried but ... maybe... u shld have told me frist in the first place that smth was already wrong right? i didn't want to face u ytd when u sat right infront of me... to see u coughing so hardly made me cry even more ... i've shouted into ur face enough i dnt want to do it anymore... i saw u crying... i heard u ... but it din make me go soft & talk to u to ask ... simply coz... i just cldn't accept it... at that point of time... i din even want to talk to anyone... how isit like to give ur best in smth thinking that it's working well but when u see through everything... it was just a big fucking lie?

there's so many things to say but i dnt knw how to say it.... u cld just laugh it off & pretend that nth has happened, but i can't... so were u trying to say that all along, u just took it for granted? i wasted time, energy & effort... it's all dwn the drain ... hw bout... working so hard & nt getting paid? YES I DNT HAVE TO WORRY BOUT MY MEALS.... MY MONEY ... MY LIFE! but i have smth else to worry bout... im pretty sensetive unlike u. IM A GIRL, U'RE A GUY .... dnt try comparing urself to me... yes u cry .... but i tell u i cn cry hundred times more den u, worst den u .... y? coz im a girl ...

you thought that u cld solve everything just by asking someone to talk to me... but till nw, after thinking for the whole night... i dnt understand why must it be ytd of all days... u told me u were scared i'll hurt myself... but tt's not a reason ... u'll be hurtting me anyway. & i've promised i wnt. although sometimes... it cld be smth i live in denial. i did so much i cried when i miss u ... i tried to call / sms but i think again what if u're busy & all ... i dnt want to disturb ... u'll know hw much i've done if u're that guy who was after me but i rejected coz... im urs.

hun, nobody deserves to live through a lie u understand? i din slp the whole night coz u;re on my mind ... i told myself to just hang on & nt call/sms u...

nics-

YAs reality is crashing to the floor.

Paint a portrait of you & I-;

~~You get older & blame becomes to shame.~~
Would you still love me if i was spastic, crazy, mad or...whatever?

I love starbucks with bestfriends. i love my family, bestfriends, friends & i love my boyfriend.

I'd love to experience everything in life. Try whatever seems crazily fun or stupid.

I don't live life to the fullest sometimes but to me, life seems like a movie. Everything happens so fast, ends so fast but at the same time, there're so many people in life that you treasure & never want to leave. i've never been perfect in my life. never once. i've never done anything exceptionally good however, i've got the perfect friends in life. i've got a beautiful boyfriend & i thank God for everything i've came pass.

I can be very crude, retarded & stupid at times.

I'm a mean bitch, whore, cunt whatever you want to call me if you make my blood boil. I wouldn't acknowledge you on the streets if you did something to insult my friends & i. Infact, i'll probably hate you for life for what you did. Yes, very much HATE.

Chains;

Tender Words-;