Loosing my mind just to find a place in your mind.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

so, i assume u all knw what happened after the previous post was posted right?

i'm still sobbing & crying every now & den. when im alone it jsut came up to my mind somehow... yes leaving me ... losing him was part of the cause but the main cause maybe i guess... it's coz he lied . & to knw that u were living on someone else's lies when u were so true... it hurts darn bad.

yes... i was valentine-less NO actually.... ben asked me to meet so did nicholas... but... i din want to meet up coz...i want to spend it with a close friend, coz wells, after all thaT has happened... my friends were the ones who were there (: ... & so ... hazel wanted to meet up to actually make me happy... how sweet right?

so aft sch ytd... i stayed back with angela deserie & sandra to do class deco ... so yeaps... that was when everyone kind of left class & i couldn;t take it anymore... i started to tear out everything that i held in me that morning... i jsut cldn't believe it... i cldn't take it... i dnt want to accept it. angela hugged me so tight.., but my tears just came running... thanks all for being there (: . i swear the scene was so ugly when i cried out... when i cldn't control ...

oh wells... le's not touch on that okay ... i dnt really want to rmb it. so aft sch ... i went home & got changted to meet hazel ... we had macs... i cldn't eat much ... coz i wasn't feeling very okay at that point of time... we hung ard & i left for home at bout 9 smth?

when i was walking home... after taking the dam crowded bus with couples... i cried again ... --, nicholas called me & i cried so freaking loud in the middle of no where ... i was shoutting at him on the fone... i told him i din udnerstand why & all ... he just shutted up to listen to me cry ... was nice of him to give me time to just cry out like i nver wana live again . i cried n cried n cried till i reached my house n looked myself into the mirror... GODAMIT! i look lyk a ghost... no choice, i had to stop coz i din wan mummy to c i was actually crying again ... thou mummy & daddy knows what was happening... wells yeah ... so yeah that's for ytd...

TODAY!

i woke up ... dragged me asss to the toilet to bathe & all .... den ... i waitted for my hair to dry... which took very long... so, i slept! & when i woke up ... like half an hour later... my sis was all ready for sch ... (she prepares super fast) . so i gave that face & asked my mum if she mind driving me to schcoz i was having a flu with a soar throat... i sounded very dead!

so, when mum saw what wsa coming... she asked me to stay a home to rest instead of going to sch .. i did... & i slpet like a pig till 10 whereby i had to change n all to go to the doctor... *cries* ...

so yeahps... nth much happened today !

to all those hu were there for me esp angela!: thks all for being there to cheer me up & all ... (: i love u guys so much... thismade me udnertsnad that im never alone coz i;ve u (:

-nics-

what if love turns into hate?

YAs reality is crashing to the floor.

Paint a portrait of you & I-;

~~You get older & blame becomes to shame.~~
Would you still love me if i was spastic, crazy, mad or...whatever?

I love starbucks with bestfriends. i love my family, bestfriends, friends & i love my boyfriend.

I'd love to experience everything in life. Try whatever seems crazily fun or stupid.

I don't live life to the fullest sometimes but to me, life seems like a movie. Everything happens so fast, ends so fast but at the same time, there're so many people in life that you treasure & never want to leave. i've never been perfect in my life. never once. i've never done anything exceptionally good however, i've got the perfect friends in life. i've got a beautiful boyfriend & i thank God for everything i've came pass.

I can be very crude, retarded & stupid at times.

I'm a mean bitch, whore, cunt whatever you want to call me if you make my blood boil. I wouldn't acknowledge you on the streets if you did something to insult my friends & i. Infact, i'll probably hate you for life for what you did. Yes, very much HATE.

Chains;

Tender Words-;