Loosing my mind just to find a place in your mind.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Have you ever walked down the street, saw a lil kid & thought to yourself " how cuteee" ? probably, yes..unless you hate kids so much.

it somehow hit me that i we all used to be that young innocent one till we grew older when the world started to matter to us all, when all those stress starts pouring onto your shoulders & of course, when the world starts turning you into someone not as innocent anymore.

so often, when we're young... we indulge ourselves with chocolates, sweets, cartoons, playgrounds & happy land where our minds are filled with nothing but happiness. i used to be like that... till lately, when things started to change, chocolates & sweets do not help anymore...indulging myself with ciggs & alcohol was the only way to take away pain that life brings. sure, there're other ways... but intermittenly, it jsut won't help. Somehow,. many thoughts diminishes naive thoughts i once have & momentarily, stress takes control of my life. Nothing was able to suppress those thoughts that nobody understands. i worry bout shit, i admit. all your results , everything... family...whatever.

can you refrain yourself from dreaming into the worst situation of life when your family's not doing very well? Don't know.

probably...i don't know how to tell mum bout my results. i know i've done my best but... i have that concious which i'm able to do better. i don't know, i really don't know. no, i didn't do as bad, i just don't know how to tell mum. how to tell dad.

i'm feeling so crummy now... ... i miss you.

some people gawk at others thinking they'er so pretty. yeah... too pretty? i can't stand your attitude, fuck it ... watch it please. you think by gawking at me i'll be scared? urh. no.... i've got better things to do then see you gawk at me. complain to everyone how disgusting some people are to your perspective. to me, you're the most disgusting dud ever. you go behind people's back, gossip bput them, & in the end let them find out what you've done. so i wonder, who do you take as your friends, coz... you betray everyone ain't it? (: if making out with books make you clever-er, go make out with them (: ... i'm sorry i have to be mean here coz, you were? go think bout it, FAKE.

-nics-

YAs reality is crashing to the floor.

Paint a portrait of you & I-;

~~You get older & blame becomes to shame.~~
Would you still love me if i was spastic, crazy, mad or...whatever?

I love starbucks with bestfriends. i love my family, bestfriends, friends & i love my boyfriend.

I'd love to experience everything in life. Try whatever seems crazily fun or stupid.

I don't live life to the fullest sometimes but to me, life seems like a movie. Everything happens so fast, ends so fast but at the same time, there're so many people in life that you treasure & never want to leave. i've never been perfect in my life. never once. i've never done anything exceptionally good however, i've got the perfect friends in life. i've got a beautiful boyfriend & i thank God for everything i've came pass.

I can be very crude, retarded & stupid at times.

I'm a mean bitch, whore, cunt whatever you want to call me if you make my blood boil. I wouldn't acknowledge you on the streets if you did something to insult my friends & i. Infact, i'll probably hate you for life for what you did. Yes, very much HATE.

Chains;

Tender Words-;