Loosing my mind just to find a place in your mind.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

I'm strong on the surface. Not all the way through...I've never been perfect

i don't want to hear the word sorry falling out of your mouth coz it wasn't your fault.

I had a major argument with darius over something which adds on to how i'm feeling right nw.

Thou i rummaged through every piece of me, i'm unable to discribe that feeling.

B's napping in camp.

i've always wondered what if life was a fairytale. i'll ask fairy godmother take out her wand just sprinkle some sparks into me, have talking soft toys, & have All my heartbreaks turn into icy cold cubes which wouldn't matter anymore...maybe, there wouldn't even be heartbreaks.

i couldn't sleep at all last night even when my eyes were tired of tearing after i got home. images past my eyes, thoughts filled up every piece of my empty mind.

indulging in movies, ciggs & chocolates aren't working now coz, i've enough of it yet i still fill empty of something. something that matters to me too much. happy songs make me cry, sad songs make me cry even more. i've got a lil post-it paste on my lappie which says " i'm breaking apart" it's cute. i'm never fine like what jon said. & nomatter how much support i know i have, i still think i'm not strong enough...since when was i? the wind keeps blowing & blowing. i guess, it blew my protection away. my inside screams & my outside tumbles. There's so many things passing my mind but, it jsut wldn't come out of the mouth. i have no mood to do anything although i have my hw placed right before my eyes. i do not even want to eat when i know im hungry. if committing suicide wasn't a crime, wasn't a sin, wasn't painful, i've already done it long ago.

everything reminds me of you. Y

i know how deep my love is. it brings me to tears to see you tear. that picture played a thousand times in my mind yesterday, this morning & is still playing now. i'm sorry i'm crying. i couldn't hold it any longer. it feels horrible on the inside although my surface is calm. please tell me you're staying coz you're all i've left in this world i cn't loose. i still have your adidas scent on me.

you're napping.

-nics-

Play a tune of old childhood which makes me feel like a kid again. please.

Labels: I have 3 ple that matters most in my life and i love them all.

YAs reality is crashing to the floor.

Paint a portrait of you & I-;

~~You get older & blame becomes to shame.~~
Would you still love me if i was spastic, crazy, mad or...whatever?

I love starbucks with bestfriends. i love my family, bestfriends, friends & i love my boyfriend.

I'd love to experience everything in life. Try whatever seems crazily fun or stupid.

I don't live life to the fullest sometimes but to me, life seems like a movie. Everything happens so fast, ends so fast but at the same time, there're so many people in life that you treasure & never want to leave. i've never been perfect in my life. never once. i've never done anything exceptionally good however, i've got the perfect friends in life. i've got a beautiful boyfriend & i thank God for everything i've came pass.

I can be very crude, retarded & stupid at times.

I'm a mean bitch, whore, cunt whatever you want to call me if you make my blood boil. I wouldn't acknowledge you on the streets if you did something to insult my friends & i. Infact, i'll probably hate you for life for what you did. Yes, very much HATE.

Chains;

Tender Words-;