Loosing my mind just to find a place in your mind.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Saying too much of "i don't knws" has became a major issue in my life. my dad complained that i say it too much since i was 3 so, it has been 12 years alrd. &, today, just today... my boyfriend wanted to walk away co0z i used the term i dnt knw when he asked me a simple qus. that term has to be out of my memory & i have to start making my own decisions instead of saying too many i dnt knw so to have others make the decision for me.

so, today was Plaza with B &... both of us weren't very happy. i stood in the middle of plaza facing some wall crying & stuff while B was smoking & using all his patience to talk to me when i wasn't even facing him ): ... but, it's all in my head now, i'm glad you told me whatever that's on your mind.

B, i realised having you to state out everything was coz you care & you do not want to see things go down the drain. i appreciate it alot alot. i promise i'll change, stop saying i dont knw... start making up my own mind & decisions. i'll talk more & be more opened towards you instead of keeping things all to myself. just have you to stand there see me cry & voice out things that you weren't happy bout, i know how much you have put in into our r/s. you have played your part more than enough , it's my turn to put in more , to have a change in myself & my attitude towards things. i don't want those small little things to build a wall in between us & eventually break us apart. i do not want & cnt afford to loose you... esp when i was this close to have you walk away from me today. i love you & no words can discribe how much i do. there's no reasonto it coz i just love you the way you are.

Thks hunny for being there ((: <333.>

-nics-

YAs reality is crashing to the floor.

Paint a portrait of you & I-;

~~You get older & blame becomes to shame.~~
Would you still love me if i was spastic, crazy, mad or...whatever?

I love starbucks with bestfriends. i love my family, bestfriends, friends & i love my boyfriend.

I'd love to experience everything in life. Try whatever seems crazily fun or stupid.

I don't live life to the fullest sometimes but to me, life seems like a movie. Everything happens so fast, ends so fast but at the same time, there're so many people in life that you treasure & never want to leave. i've never been perfect in my life. never once. i've never done anything exceptionally good however, i've got the perfect friends in life. i've got a beautiful boyfriend & i thank God for everything i've came pass.

I can be very crude, retarded & stupid at times.

I'm a mean bitch, whore, cunt whatever you want to call me if you make my blood boil. I wouldn't acknowledge you on the streets if you did something to insult my friends & i. Infact, i'll probably hate you for life for what you did. Yes, very much HATE.

Chains;

Tender Words-;