Loosing my mind just to find a place in your mind.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

1 down, 2 more kgs to go (: yadyadyad.

Everyone's so busy laaaaaaaah. esp chatree & ...ben(pretend busy onlyyyyyyy). pssft. My hunny's sleeping & so is my darhling. all are pigs. ):

Flip the pages of books, count the number of hearts, calculate the number of brush strokes & realise the effort of eevrything before saying that it meant but an effortless job just to make someone happy. Even making someone happy takes effort. so, when someone says that to you, ask them to think again.

After last night's blog entry i went straight to bed coz i was really tired. However, when i finally laid on the bed, many stuff came up my mind again. i tried not to think of it, i tried to avoid it but... sometimes, the more you try to avoid, the more it gets to you. So, with no better choice, i laid on bed with both eyes half closed thinking of everything that has happened. & all your words used that morning when you said:"no,coz i don't deserve to" i really didn't understand that part but then again, you'll probably tell me... i don't need to understand coz it's just you. If it's so much bout you... what happened to my part & my stand to talk? you told me before we have to communicate, we have to talk things through. But, it is not occuring ... you threw your temper at me & asked me to shut up when all i did was... " i wana talk too." kind of thing. You told me i always threw my temper at you but did i that night? who was the one walking away from me? who said don't bother calling me coz i;m going out? then, all this words brought me back to past arguements we had. you walk away, get pissed off & i myself stood there with that confused face asking why, what? but, you just wouldn't answer. It's like you pushing me further & further away everytime i try to ask. it made me feel that you just wana push me away by avoiding everything. But you yourself know that no matter how much you push me ard, i'll still be there for you. & with that, i just hope that you wouldn't take this existance for granted. please, jsut don't push me away when you don't want me there.

Baby;

i don't knw if you're reading this entry & every other entry but... Calvin, i love you... with my heart & soul. with everything that i do, i've thought of you... i hope you feel how i'm feeling now. Bus rides never seem as long as the once without you by myside. Tears never seem to come to a halt & thinking back to everything that we shared, the way you tease me, the way you tell me to look into your eyse when i say i love you &... when you answer me telling me that you know i love you. Everything just falls back into place.It's like picture frames with every snapshot of you & i in black & white, sharing time tgt. you do know that words can never describe how much i love you & nothing beats you. I hope you'll spend sometime alone & think bout it. i'd really want to hear from you soon. i miss you, very much.

lotsa love

your baby.

YAs reality is crashing to the floor.

Paint a portrait of you & I-;

~~You get older & blame becomes to shame.~~
Would you still love me if i was spastic, crazy, mad or...whatever?

I love starbucks with bestfriends. i love my family, bestfriends, friends & i love my boyfriend.

I'd love to experience everything in life. Try whatever seems crazily fun or stupid.

I don't live life to the fullest sometimes but to me, life seems like a movie. Everything happens so fast, ends so fast but at the same time, there're so many people in life that you treasure & never want to leave. i've never been perfect in my life. never once. i've never done anything exceptionally good however, i've got the perfect friends in life. i've got a beautiful boyfriend & i thank God for everything i've came pass.

I can be very crude, retarded & stupid at times.

I'm a mean bitch, whore, cunt whatever you want to call me if you make my blood boil. I wouldn't acknowledge you on the streets if you did something to insult my friends & i. Infact, i'll probably hate you for life for what you did. Yes, very much HATE.

Chains;

Tender Words-;