One of my best friend called me an idiot ytd & called me stupid today adding on to this statement :" *holds bubble tea straw* eh i think it'll be really cool if i poke this into your eye" She wants me blind & thinks that it's cool. Another thing was that she used that straw pretending it to be a wand, using the harry potter's death spell on me. *shows face* That was pathetic, some idiot real idiots were looking at us ...

Hunny couldn't make it to meet up with me & nessa today coz... it's a sunday ))): &... i may not be able to meet them tmr coz mum says so O.O. Anyway...Today was parkway->suntec->parkway. I'm a happy happy girl. *wide smiles at nessa*

Nessa & i went all the way to suntec to get the rubik's cube i wanted coz that was the nearest toys"R"us around my area. i seriously think parkway departmental stalls should burn the fuck out of themselves for not selling them. Sorry but yeah. i'm darn fucking fascinated with the shit coz it really tests your brain & when you finally gt it, you'll scream with joy. it kind of keeps you away from everything around you... right nessa? (we should show ange that add we made in the toilet =B)

Thou we saw some unwanted beings ard suntec's sky garden, we really had fun pretending to be a wizard & a warrior at toy"R"us. Yes, very retardedly stupid but, it was fun. i loved it. coz i can feel like a kid again... it's not everyday that you can act like a kid when you're a young lady & it's not very easy to find best friends who'll actually play along with you. All those stupid jokes we made up bout psp & stuff was unforgettably funny ((: . *nic, i'll throw your psp at their faces(unwanted beings at suntec) & start laughing at them.*

I feel really tired after i reachced home & i didn't really have the mood to do art + i realised something i never realised before which was really annoying.

Sometimes, your actions never spoke your words & it unknowingly sets you up for me to doubt on every single word that falls out. Finally, today, after being friends for so long, i realised that you're of no difference compared to your close friend who happens to be a bastard to me. Both of you does things which're a total opposite from shit that came outta those mouths. I'm sorry i'm saying this however, i just feel that way, you made me feel that way. you could tell me how much you're different from your cheapskate bastard close friend but, your actions gave you away. i saw it, i saw it through my very own eyes; like a piece of glass i could see through the other side of you. You do not have the need to answer me & tell me you're gonna make it up or , even explain your actions to me. why? coz i dnt give no fucks anymore since you're just like your friend...If you were to make it up to me, make it up to yourself first. ask yourself what you've got yourself into to have me image you as someone i've mentioned above. Can you face yourself? facing me isn't important, it's facing yourself & your heart that is. You're another disppointment ...all that you've said bout what happened few weeks back... was history & for the present, i never want to believe anymore. i never want to. simply coz the puzzle has been fixed, i realised, nothing could break me ... only i can break myself & i'm not giving you a chance to break myself. It's all cleared... you're just another guy, another lie, another friend who gave himself away by his actions. just like your close cheapskate friend. i'm throwing this towards your face & i'm really sorry bout it... but you took it upon yourself. All those stuff that you told me, the letter that you wrote to me, the jokes which you made up bout my ex boyfriend was covered by another piece of different lie which i saw through. & everything that you've filled me in bout how much you wana treat me, i can't beleive it anymore. i'm just gonna smile it off. like always i've told others, now i'm telling you.... my trust is not for me to give... it's for you to earn. earn it back if you have the cheek to. how does it feel to fall from a mountain high back to where you started? If you were to ask who did it.... it'll be you. 100% sure.

Chatree- i'm sorry i couldn't make it to the chalet.

Dairus- If you ever want to treat her like dirt, you're not a man anymore. never will you ever be. trust me. Ladies aren't meant to be treated like dirt just like gentlemen should never be treated like dust. what if she was the one treating you like a transparent sheet? how does it feel like? wouldn't it hurt bad as well? she might have pissed you off, she might have done wrong unto you ... however, never do things you do not want others to do unto you. i beleive in karma & i believe that you believe it too. So, if you believe in karma, why don't you just let nature take its path? one day, she'll get what she deserve naturally.

If you want to do everything to please her, it'll piss her off as well. Why? coz she'll probably think that you need her every now & then & the more she deosn't care, the more she throws her temper at you, the more she treats yu like dirt... the more you'll care, the more you'll turn your attention to her & eventually, she'll break you. therefore, if you did something for her & she doesn't care... don't bother... but if she runs back to you & starts talking to you, talk to her... make her feel you're there in a good way. Don't turn your back on her. Just don't... you're sending yourself down to the grave.

I'm a girl ... i understand.... i've felt that way before & i suggest that you just treat her normally. just be there.

The reason why on the qus you;ve asked me earlier was coz... this is life & something on the inside attracted me. something that nobody has... something... special. i'm sure you've felt that way ... i'm very sure ... & no matter how much you explain, it's unanswerable. It flows. you've gotta feel it on your own. I know it's not helping much but, it helps... rightttt? (: