"what if this, what if that, what if... what if..."

what don't just fuck everything that's happening... why don't something come & take me away; coz... everything happens for a reason & when i happens, it happens we can't avoid it. never try avoiding it.

someone cradle my head & tell me everything's going to be fine esp you... i've never seen you so stressed up before when i was with you for the past few mths. This is the first time. you're getting a little too paranoid here & there. The worst part would be ... me being unable to do anything bout it,yet. i wish i could tell you everything's going to be alright but, i'm pretty uncertain bout things now & it probably would be a lie if i told you that... i myself am worried but, somehow... i didn't show any of it ... probably coz i have more major stuff i've got to handle with. idk... but you know we both feel the same way & i'll always always be there if you need someone to talk to.It's just like what you told me the other day. i've never been through so much shit in my whole life before... i still couldn't accept the fact that he left & the last time i was going to see his lifeless body was next week... neither have i accepted the fact that you've left & maybe, you're never going to turn around & look at me again.you know how it feels? it feels like i'm standing in the middle of to large rocks pulling me apart. i'm not breaking... i'm being stretched to my limits & ... there's another thing to worry bout... i'm being pulled side ways... up & down.

I woke up tearing, telling mum i did not want to attend sch coz i was still feeling emotionally unstable & would break down any minute. Mum gave me hell but told me she understood & she was going to bring me to church.

I feel like shouting & crying & everything. i feel like turning back time, i feel like pulling you back into my life, i feel like telling you how much i feel, i feel like ... I JUST FEEL LIKE IT.