I didn't fking know how a hang over feels like till ytd night .

Ytd was, Ju's chalet & drinking with moose + friends.

abosolute blackcurrent was fking hell goood when it's pure. so goood, it got me up all night with halucinations. i hate it but, i love the feeling of getting drunk. for a moment, i thought of quittng however, it's a once in awhile thing & i dnt really crave for alcohol like those addicts so, i guess, i can control myself abit here & there.

Ange was a gone case ytd night. i saw her crying for daryl & i saw the me who couldn't get over you. probably, i felt the pain that they felt when they saw me cry past few days back. Nothing much... ange was... just... gone. we had to force her to stand up so we'd be able to send her back home. sucks coz, we were behind time, we reached her curfew yet she just didn't want to get up. When we finally got her up... i was a goner then. ithe alcohol got into my brains & i couldn't stand straight. shaq & nessa had to carry me to get a cab home. ugly ah. i was vomiting & i was shouting at the main road coz, ididn;t want to go home. Little miss sheryl did a good job splashing apple tea on me to wake me up but, it didn't work coz i shouted even more. it was fucking cold alright ): ... THEN, terence & moose came out, + eunyse & chalet friends. they were like" nicols is Drunk, nicole is drunk!" They shut-ed my mouth so i'd stop shouting. ): it was really ugly & i was wasted for the night. so so so so so fucking ugly, i laied on gun...smth, (fogot his name)'s lap to knock out for awhile. i swear, everyone was startled to see me & ange that way. ange was worst. okay worst. i was better. i still remembered every part of it &, i know terence said you have to get up coz the cops are gonna come. type of shit. i know eunyse was the one who shutted me up & i said i couldn't breathe. again... like likin park 0.0 . I remembered pointing at someone & i asked" why are you smoking" yadadyaydyad. I asked terence to get Linkin Park back to sg coz, i'll pay 5k for that. 0.0

I got home by cab with mel & sheryl. i was so thankful i didn't need to go home alone. iui puked in the fking cab. &, the taxi driver said, why drink so much!. i was too tired to even think . please.

stayed up all night thinking of shit. hallucinated & heard voices like" nic, i''m gonna get you when you're drunk." & i heard nessa's voice. i wanted to die, & i had the thought of getting a kitchen knife to kill myself however i was too lazy to get out of bed. sometimes, lazyness saves your life. i still feel dizzy now & it;s 8 am in the morning. i can't get back to slp & stuff. it sucks. fking hang overs & alcohol. for a second, maybe, i'm going to quit drinking & maybe, smoking as well. but then again, maybei can't quit smoking (: . ohhhhh welss.

i'm still drunk. still very drunk. dizzy like dizzy lah. i talk like a fucking blonde when i'm drunk. (: gd thing. nel said she wouldn't know that i'm a chinese if i dyed my hair blonde. ehhh got accent =BBB.

I remembered the hug i had ytd. aww.

sheryl said smth fucking irrelevant... & got me screaming saying no. smth bout love yadyadada.

Now, it's so fking obvious . ange knows, nessa as well & .. almsot everyone there ytd knows. *slaps hands on head* finished my ciggs. no money to buy coz, i spent it all on my drinks. mum's angry, coz i'm like wasted. (:

i want to mosh. (: terence wanted to get a picture of me & ange when we were drunk ): sad case ah. unglam moments.

Then, you realise that you've given your everything yet they just go un-noticed. i love you ange, i love you a hell lot & i dnt want to ever see you the way you were ytd. rememberd what i've said. It's life & we fail. We gotta accept it. no matter what i'll be there. i won't leave. never. i'll never leave someone i love. alright.