Tuesday was... home at 12am.

Had a blast with voldie, sotong, moose, terence, ganesh, shaq, omar & jason. Everything seems so smoothly good, i forgot myself in the beach & everything we used to have. i'm not sorry for myself &, i'm ever saying sorry for every word that came out of myself. sometimes, i want you to get out of my face yet other times i just wished you were there. I guess, tmr's one mth trip to Hk wld probably wipe out everything we had... but.. this last words are all from my heart.

Calvin, i've said that i miss you but, i ain't sure if i miss you or if i miss the one i thought you were. I believe that you're a total changed person &, you are no longer the man i used to love. no more. not that calvin i knew. i don't & do not want to know what's going to come up next between us. Maybe, some one new for you & i but things between you & i are never going to be the same anymore. i've thought of everything, i've thought of all you've put me through & i've saw the way i've given in. All that you've give in, all that i've made you go through. i've wasted half a year for you. For a second, i thought you'd be the perfect one but for another, you just proved it wrong. i guess, for the past 6 mths we had, i was never perfect for you...Yeah, be strong. you're able to coz it's a mask, you just din't want to think of everything, you're ignored it. yet i myself am facing everything, crying, just to realise you never cared a tad bit. maybe you did but, not the same way you used to be. Don't thank me for everything i've given you. Thank yourself for it as well. It takes two hands to clap. This year, has been great with you for the past 6 mths & we're all moving on. I suppose, you ain't the one who belongs to my circle & i am not the one who'll belong to your's as well. I feel sad when i say this however, this is reality & i just want to face it... i want to face that you've already left & you're not missing me, i don't want to pretend everything is fine when it's not. i don't want to wake up one day & realise oh, you've already moved on yet i'm still in a scrapped knee. I don't want to care , i know you don't. Maybe, i'm better off with someone else. not you.

But whatever it is, i've enjoyed my times with you.

Managed to go out of the house to spend a ,lil time with voldie, sotong, moose, terence, omar & ganesh at east point fo dinner. I'm glad ... (: .

A hug brought something back into my eyes. Something i thought i left untouched; forgotten.