Loosing my mind just to find a place in your mind.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

I guess those fiery attitude gotta go down the drain & i have to train for more patience. It's just the snap of an eye & friday's coming along the way again. Time passed soo fast, things happened too much & i realised, after going to sch for the whole week, i've not learnt a thing. Those motivational talks are draining the shit out of me & i so miss retreat. Tehre's another 10 hours of jail cell tmr. which, i don't feel like going...

To JY:

when i love someone, i'll give my best shot & if i'm not giving my 100% or bestest shot, i wouldn't get invovlved in it. Please do not force me into something i do not want to do. Please do not tell me that it's okay if i'm not giving my 100%. I know very well that the phrase :" it's okay if you're not giving your 100%." is a lie. It'll eventually become a problem & it's very unfair to you. i don't want to be unfair to you, i don't want to hurt you & i don't want to hurt myself. I know, so many "I"s ... i feel so selfish. But it's really how i feel. If there's so many someone else out there who likes me, does it mean that i have to give everyone of them a chance? i don't want to decieve myself . I'm just following my heart & sometimes it can be really harsh. I know everyone's afraid of rejection. I am to. But sometimes, you just have to reject it to save everything frm going down the drain. I'm sorry, i really really am. we've been friends for awhile & i enjoyed being friends with you. i never thought something more will grow out of the friendship we have. I still love you as a friend but not more than that. There's someone out there which i'm fond of & i'm willing to give him my 100% thou i don't know if he's willing to do that or not.

YAs reality is crashing to the floor.

Paint a portrait of you & I-;

~~You get older & blame becomes to shame.~~
Would you still love me if i was spastic, crazy, mad or...whatever?

I love starbucks with bestfriends. i love my family, bestfriends, friends & i love my boyfriend.

I'd love to experience everything in life. Try whatever seems crazily fun or stupid.

I don't live life to the fullest sometimes but to me, life seems like a movie. Everything happens so fast, ends so fast but at the same time, there're so many people in life that you treasure & never want to leave. i've never been perfect in my life. never once. i've never done anything exceptionally good however, i've got the perfect friends in life. i've got a beautiful boyfriend & i thank God for everything i've came pass.

I can be very crude, retarded & stupid at times.

I'm a mean bitch, whore, cunt whatever you want to call me if you make my blood boil. I wouldn't acknowledge you on the streets if you did something to insult my friends & i. Infact, i'll probably hate you for life for what you did. Yes, very much HATE.

Chains;

Tender Words-;