Thursday, January 31, 2008 
Sometimes, it's not about me. It's not about them. It's just about this world that makes me feel so alone & it makes me feel as thou no one ever understood everything that came by my way, every looming cloud that made the caribbean sun disappear behind it. nobody could possibly admit that their life was smooth sailing neither will anyone say that their life was nothing but a nightmare of what seems to haunt them everyday be it in their illusions or what they see everyday.
"pull me back to reality"
We meet new people each day, learn how this world can turn in a matter of seconds & idenify the wonderdful things in life. However, at times, the world is so fast, so plastered by the lies & the stereotypical acts that ee, ourselves can't see what is good or bad, sweet or sour. It's nice to know that someone has the same thought in mind but i don't know who feels the same at the moment.
This is going out to all those i love & i promise you that my love willend only when the day my heart stops beating. I don't promise you that you'll smile or cry after this post. It's not life changing either. however, i assure you that it's from the bottom of my heart.
There were times when i fell. Times when i wanted to give up & times when i really wnated to fall into a hole & hide myself in a place where no one will ever find me. through all these times, i have to admit that even through those tears, there were sunshine above me. I'm sorry sometimes those grey clouds covered the glittery sparks of the sun.
I'm really contented to have all of you through the rain & shine, thick & thin. You learnt me inside out & saw the smile through my tears. Beleived in me & told me that i can do it even when i didn't have the courage to. As i stare through the silence of the empty room, the faces come into a blurr vision.finally, i pictured every moment i had with each of you. when i look into the eys of each face, i knew what i"ve found in life. Something no one can take away, I don't want to cover the traces of how i got here. I don't want to take this for granted. Because if i do, i don't think I'll ever be able to crss paths with people like you again. It's a once in a lifetime thing & i'd die for it.
Today, i learnt that no one is perfect & no matter how hard i strive for it, perfection is something nobody can define. It's different in every perspective. For me, my best friends are perfect. i wanna take pictures of every moment i have with all of you. not with my camera but with the memory of what my brain contains. I wish i could extend this life so we'll be able to spend more time together. this life, Nights are short, days are long yet we complain that we don't have enough time. with each day, i wake up with excitment rapt on my face knowing that you all will always be there no matter what happens & will make thing right even if it seems so difficult. I love those smiles on your faces coz it means alot to me.
Thanks for everything, love.
Labels: i feel like a sick duck.
YAs reality is crashing to the floor.
I love starbucks with bestfriends.
i love my family, bestfriends, friends & i love my boyfriend.
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I'm a mean bitch, whore, cunt whatever you want to call me if you make my blood boil.
I wouldn't acknowledge you on the streets if you did something to insult my friends & i. Infact, i'll probably hate you for life for what you did. Yes, very much HATE.