Loosing my mind just to find a place in your mind.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Starting the day off with someone on my mind.

The Craving for a fag every now & then is getting on those nerves that constantly beats with nicotine in the bloodstream. Everything got it's limits, things were getting beneath my skin, crawling like ants & i could feel it... suddenly finally burst out to find myself screaming at the face of mel's telling her i need either a fag or a gum to chew on. the feeling is, definately the worst feeling i've ever got over in years. after much of hesitation to get a fag in the toilet or to get a gum to chew on, i've finally decided to settle with the gum. I have cravings but at the same time, i can control it as well.

As i started to walk into the overcrowded gate of my sch, i could feel the pressure going through my head... those words" oh my goodness, nicole, you're sec 4 & you're going to take you o levels." The fear of it wasn't shown in my eyes but in my heart so, not much of them saw it through (: ...

Catching a glimpse of dawn was never written on my planner in the holidays therefore, today's the first time... very pretty.... i've got red-rimmed eyes. Principal walking up the stage reciting all those stupid fucked up sch rules & every other shit that concerned your sch life made me sleep half way through the assembly. My eyes were so keen to shut itself. i swear no one was even listening except for a few of... sec 1s maybe?

Nevertheless, i could say that first days are always nice to have a get together time with your friends. Caught up a lil here & there. Had myself beside ange coz we both decided to sit infront to listen attentively inorder to get past this year's ... Sitting with hunny is never boring. she'll never let me sleep in class & she'll always try talking to me but when it's my turn to start talking, she'll go" tsk, shh listen lah!" (: ... She vandalised my legs today not with drawings but with some writtings. I was repeating you-know_who's name & i think ange got irritated. !

After sch time are never "going home" time. hung ard with ange & nessa till the early evening till i decided to head home for a shower & dinner.

I'm not eating tmr. promise.

no, you proved me wrong when i thought i couldn't fall head over heels again.

YAs reality is crashing to the floor.

Paint a portrait of you & I-;

~~You get older & blame becomes to shame.~~
Would you still love me if i was spastic, crazy, mad or...whatever?

I love starbucks with bestfriends. i love my family, bestfriends, friends & i love my boyfriend.

I'd love to experience everything in life. Try whatever seems crazily fun or stupid.

I don't live life to the fullest sometimes but to me, life seems like a movie. Everything happens so fast, ends so fast but at the same time, there're so many people in life that you treasure & never want to leave. i've never been perfect in my life. never once. i've never done anything exceptionally good however, i've got the perfect friends in life. i've got a beautiful boyfriend & i thank God for everything i've came pass.

I can be very crude, retarded & stupid at times.

I'm a mean bitch, whore, cunt whatever you want to call me if you make my blood boil. I wouldn't acknowledge you on the streets if you did something to insult my friends & i. Infact, i'll probably hate you for life for what you did. Yes, very much HATE.

Chains;

Tender Words-;